SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH PUBLIC TRANSPORT ANYWAY?

I have to admit I am not a great lover of public transport. That doesn’t mean I don’t use it of course. In fact I have travelled many thousands of miles using public transport. Obviously most of this mileage has been in aeroplanes, and I use them because aeroplanes are very expensive and I can’t afford to buy one of my own.

This is not to say that I haven’t tried other forms of public transport though, because sometimes, even to me, it does seem to be the most practical option. Unfortunately I always seem to end up feeling a little disappointed with the experience. For example, any attempt at driving or parking in Paris makes using the underground look like a no-brainer, but I still can’t quite see the appeal of the Metro unless you enjoy the close company of rude people and you like the smell of lavatories.

However, I like to think I am sufficiently open minded to occasionally try something different. Last summer, Easyjet flew my partner and me to the Italian lakes. My partner had suggested a sort of back-to-basics tour, no car, travelling with the locals, like students – you get the picture. Obviously I laughed and immediately logged onto Holidayautos.com.

At the Aeroporto I asked for a free upgrade, pointing out that I had used their company hundreds of times and had always been given an upgrade, (I’m such a fibber…) and found myself with the keys to a rather cool looking Lancia. All was well until I plugged in the satnav. The cig. lighter didn’t work, so back to the office where a helpful chap went off somewhere and returned with a box of matches…

Long story short - I finished up with a Fiat like everyone else.

Where am I going with this? Oh yes… after a few days abusing the Fiat in the mountains we fancied a day in Venice. And I made a mistake. I allowed myself to be persuaded to go on the train. The argument seemed compelling. Two boring hours on the motorway, expensive parking, car no use in Venice, return fare on the train E7.50 each.

Now I’ve seen Italian trains before and I have always been struck by the graffiti.

It’s quite amazing - it’s so much more than just casual vandalism. In fact I can’t see how the graffitti-ists manage to do so much to such a high standard in the time available when the train is parked. They must come back for several night sessions to get it all done. I also had the impression that Trenitalia’s trains all had air conditioning, aircraft style seats, travelled everywhere at 180 kph and off course, ran on time.

They don’t.

My train arrived 75 minutes late. It was absolutely packed with people who must have been moving house, all of whom had a suitcase big enough to carry a piano. You couldn’t even stand up in comfort. It chugged along at about forty. There was no aircon (42 degrees outside, God knows what inside), it stopped at every station between Verona and Venice, (there are a lot) and at each one, even more weary, downtrodden looking natives struggled aboard with their pianos.

I did not arrive at my destination in a good mood. My partner pointed out that a station announcement (in Italian) had cited technical difficulties and that the journey had been a ‘one off’. It certainly was as far as I was concerned.

And thus ended my brief flirtation with Italy’s railway system.

So I did try. But my advice to you is this. If you are holidaying in Italy and you want to spend some time on the canals of Venice, make sure you take a car.